The Fear of Being Seen vs. The Calling to Be Seen

When Fear and Destiny Collide.

Some journeys take us far from home. Some lead us to our destiny. — C.S. Lewis - The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.

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Following a calling, following our soul’s whispers, sounds so simple. Of course, we want to take the path of authenticity—the path that liberates us and offers a life that is real, whole, nourishing, and deeply fulfilling. And yet, there is a little (or big) thing called fear that loves to intervene. Fear and I have been intertwined for most of my life now. Yours too, maybe?

Well, I have a sneaking suspicion—better yet, a clear knowing, that it is in fact, meant to be there. We all know it well. It often disguises itself as anxiety—just one of the many ways it likes to show up. But there’s a trick. A game, really. When fear does come knocking (and it always will), the point is not to push it away, but to be with it—to befriend it. To allow it to coexist alongside us. Not so it can consume us, not so it can win, but so it can teach us. Because when we do overcome it (and if you choose to, you always will), we inevitably reach new heights within ourselves—heights we once thought were unachievable. (Fear was probably the one that told you so.)

For quite some time, I have been on a long ride with fear—especially when it comes to my writing. I so deeply want to put myself out there. But it’s more than a want—it’s a need, a calling to express myself, to show up in the world. A world that so desperately needs more soul, more honesty, integrity, and radical authenticity.

I know God has written this into the predestined plan laid out for me. My voice, my words, my art were not gifted to me to be hidden. They were gifted to be shared. To pave the way toward my soul’s calling. This is true for every human being. Every soul has a destiny, a creative outlet yearning to be discovered. And once it is discovered, it screams to be shared.

We were given a voice so that we could speak. I mean, truly speak. Speak from a place that resides in the depth of our being. Each of our voices are uniquely curated from the inside out, from a place of divinity and heart. So why—why does it feel so hard to speak when this gift is God given?

Well, we could go into the many factors of why it may feel so difficult. We could touch on things like childhood wounds, the fear of being judged, the highly sensitive natures we have, or the fact that we have never used our voices in the ways they were designed for. In my case, it's spending the majority of my life hiding behind a version of myself that was never true—because the real me was never accepted by those around me. I learned to hide from my light because it blinded too many around me. Even now, in the reclamation of my light, I still fear it. I am still convinced it’s too much—I am too much.

I have come to feel that fear may be strongest in those whose mission is deeply rooted in truth. This isn’t to say that others don’t experience it, because everyone does, but I wonder if those who are meant to show up in their full authenticity feel an even greater resistance.

I’ve noticed that in today’s world, especially on social media, there are many ways to be seen without truly being seen. A self is presented to the world, but it may not always reflect the person’s deepest truth. And perhaps that makes the process feel easier, when the mask fits the mold that has been handed to them.

I say this because I understand it. When I was disconnected from my truest self, the version I am becoming now—I cared less about being seen. I had thousands of followers on Instagram. I uploaded posts regularly, either of myself in an edited photo or with “friends” who were never really friends. There was a kind of ease in that. But now, after stepping away from social media for nearly three years and steering closer to my most authentic self, I find myself more afraid of speaking, more afraid of my image, my words, my truth.

Why is that? Is it because it’s needed? Is it because I know it’s meant to fill the cracks, to speak to the heart of those who are yearning for truth—for something raw, for something their own voices aren’t quite ready to say just yet but so desperately need to hear?

Authenticity is powerful. The people that I have come across over the years who have embodied it have effortlessly steered me towards my own truth, just by expressing theirs. Authenticity holds a specific vibration. One that turns something on within you which simply says: Yes! This truth triggers my own gnosis. This essence is what my heart has been seeking.

Your voice is needed. Your authentic self awaits you, and there is no rush in becoming them. Something I am having to remind myself of, every. single. day.

And your voice is not limited to speaking or writing, as we know. It can be conveyed through so many different means.

Allow for fear to stand before you. Run towards it. Let your voice crack and break as you learn to find it but never stop searching for it. Because it’s in you, even if its buried—it’s there.

It is your own personal treasure. And maybe, like myself, it is something you are journeying to uncover. Something you are waking from slumber. But one thing I do know to be true is the more you use your voice, the more you find it, and the more the ecstasy of life will speak through you.

Words will drip like honey from your tongue. Flowers will grow from your fingers, and beauty will continue to pour out of you.

The fear of being seen may stir great discomfort, but the calling to be seen is a call that demands you to answer. One that denying yourself of means denying your own destiny.

Sharing your art, your truth, your unique signature with the world means sharing your soul, and your soul came here to shine.

Welcome fear and when you do, watch the absolute wonderment that unfolds when you step on the other side it.

It’s not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves. — Edmund Hillary.

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When I write, I write to remind myself of what I need to hear first and foremost. I can only hope these words bring you the same comfort they have brought me.

With so much love,

Phoebe. 🤍